I hope this doesn't come off as harsh... But I'm a little curious... You describe your wife as frigid, Victorian, and unimaginative. Personally, I think those are very harsh words to describe someone you supposedly love. I'm also a little curious about which came first... You calling her those things or her possibly giving off that image. Also, I noticed in another thread that you mentioned you had an affair... I wouldn't be surprised if that severely hurt her self esteem. It sounds like she has very low self esteem, based on your brief descriptions of her. I also feel like you have a fairly limited idea of what you think acceptable sex is, meaning if it's not wild and crazy, it's not sex. I guess what I'm saying is... these walls that she has built up... Did she build them herself, or did you have a hand in it? I'm also curious what your reaction was when she told you that you felt like you and the therapist were ganging up on her. Did you say, "I'm sorry you feel that way -- lets go to therapy and talk about it to figure out a more balanced way of discussing things" or did you just kind of... throw in the towel? I'm a hopeless romantic, but I believe you can still have a very loving, sexual relationship with your wife if you want it. But I'm getting the sense you don't want it. So maybe you should actually consider the idea of divorce. If not for you, then for her, so that you both can find someone to love you the way you want and deserve to be loved. And don't tell me you're too old, because love doesn't have an age limit on it -- my grandfather married his second wife very late in life, and was as happy and in love as high school kid.

I'm not trying to be a brat about this, but I feel like you have been extremely hard on your wife, and I just want you to think outside of your own situation for a minute. I think there is a way to solve this so that both of you are happy. I'm not 100% sure what that would be, but I don't think you should be giving up just yet.

Again, I'm really sorry if this came off as harsh or rude...