sakijuju,

If you don't mind my asking how are you and your girlfriend? You say that she is your first for many things so I am thinking you're still young.

When it comes to relationships sakijuju, everyone of us has to learn how to have a healthy relationship. It takes time to learn how to give each other respect as well as form REAL trust. You both have to learn how to sit down and discuss things rather then doing the blame game. You're not children anymore, it takes time to learn how to be adults. And if we don't have an example by seeing parents that can talk and respect each other, then we really never know how a healthy relationship is established.

I think that you may have been a bit too needy of her. I think that your own sense of insecurity was spilling over into wondering if she was going to find someone else that may show more security than you. We all can do that to a certain degree as we become very familiar of our weak areas as we struggle through life.

For many couples to stay together it can be very helpful to get couples counceling.
I know of a woman that has a coucelor that her and her husband have used for many years to assist her and her husband to keep on track and work on the different stages and challenges that come up as they both face different phases of life.

At some point as you reach out to your ex you may want to say that you are aware that you probably made mistakes and you love her enough to take steps in couples counceling so that the two of you can establish a healthy relationship. You can be honest and tell her that as you both are experiencing in each other a first for many things that maybe it is time to get advice so that you and her can build a happier closer more trusting relationship. After all, you're both have to grow as individuals as well and it is important to allow for that to take place along with a relationship.

Not very many men are willing to do the work in relationship building. The men that are willing have a much better chance at having a healthier relationship. It is ok to learn how to establish better communication, trust, and appropriate boundaries. If a relationship doesn't survive that attempt at the very least you will have learned something about having a healthy relationship.

Open Eyes