Quote:
Originally Posted by lostmyway21
My kid part is hurt and wants to act out and ruin our
relationship and not come back all this week. That part is angry that
I can only have you twice a week for like 45 minutes. Im angry that
instead of having a safe and caring understanding parent, I am stuck
with the abusive father, and a mother that neglected my most basic
childhood needs. Like the need to FEEL loved, by not even letting me
give her hugs, or offering them to me. That kid part of me is also
jealous of the people in your life that DO get you for real. The worst
part is how upset it makes me feel. Upset that the only person that
understands me, and makes me feel safe and protected isn't mine for
keeps. This is really hard, and and it makes me feel like a horrible
person.
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Yes, it's hard. And it all makes perfect sense.
Almost all.
You really want something, and you know you can't have it, and it hurts. I feel that way about my own T, and a lot of us here do too.
The interesting thing is what happens next. How do we respond to wanting something we can't have?
I get angry. I sulk. I blame the person for withholding what I want.
You, on the other hand, feel like you are a horrible person.
I believe the response Ts most like to see is: "I don't always get what I want and that's OK. It does hurt, but it's a pain I can live with."
Good luck in your journey. See you there!