Thank you for pointing this out. I am really struggling with impulses to SI since this has come up. I feel like such a bad person for feeling this way. I am so angry at myself, because I don't have the any right to these wants or needs from him. I hate myself right now. I am a horrible person to be jelous of the time he has with his family. He has given me more than enough, including time from his family answering my constant emails. I just want to punish myself for all these thoughts. T told me to try the rubber band thing to try to keep my SI'ing at ease, until he see's me on Thursday and we can work on all of this. These emotions are so awfully intense. Right now this doesn't feel like a pain I can live with.