Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1
i don't really understand much about trasference.to me it seems if i feel somthing about a person (my T)then this is how i feel no matter what the reason is.if something she said or does terrifies me does it matter the reason why ?the reality is that i am terrified.even it is is because she is just sitting in a room with me sitting in a chair and it feels to much like something the mother did
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(((((((((( granite ))))))))) the "why" does matter. At some point we may notice that the person in that other chair, whom we are scared of (because they did or said something the mother did or said, maybe long years ago) is, in fact, NOT HER. and then one day we might wonder whether every other person has to be identical to the mother (not very likely)... and if not, hey, maybe the risk isn't so great after all....? and after a while, if that person hasn't followed up with the other hurtful things the mother said or did, then maybe we begin to wonder if we might not trust them?