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Old Feb 28, 2012, 05:31 PM
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PreacherHeckler PreacherHeckler is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Close to the Adirondacks but not close enough
Posts: 578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snuffleupagus View Post
I think heckler has it about right. I was expressing insecurity by focusing on those 2 words--presuming I wasn't a priority, but no I wasn't asking her what her other appts were for. Just normal low self esteem stuff. I think she was just already sensitized by my criticism of her. We had a really rocky relationship. I remember telling her once that I felt bad that I'd disappointed her. She said everyone has to deal with disappointing others.
Yeah, that's what I thought -- that you were focusing on the words "for me" because you felt unimportant. My T would have picked up on that immediately and we would have talked about what I was feeling and why I felt that way, and he would have explained that his lack of time didn't mean I wasn't important. He would have understood and not gotten defensive or frustrated, and he certainly would not have read anything into what I said. Even if he wasn't quite sure and needed clarification, he would have asked me what I meant instead of presuming to read my mind and then telling me I meant something other than what I had said.
That was a horrible way for your T to handle this.
By the way, you couldn't possibly have been more critical of your T than I was of mine during a very long period of negative transference. We got through it because he understood where it was coming from and didn't take it personally.
__________________
Conversation with my therapist:

Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here."
Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here."
(Pause)
Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?"
Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall."

It's official. I can even make therapists crazy.
Thanks for this!
Snuffleupagus