why does it feel good to tell my therapist things I know are wrong?

I feel puzzled because I don't see things how my therapists sees them

but, even if she's mad at the fact I'm not really mad at myself for it,

I just want to tell her more...

anyway,

I drink from time to time

but, told her one stressful night I decided to get high with my friends
on top of drinking.

is this so bad? it felt great. i liked experiencing both.

My T claimed I was just trying to escape feelings but,
I politely ignored that response and continued talking
about how fun it was...