My two cents? Humans are by nature sexual creatures. Women included. Read Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation. First, it's hilarious, second, I think it nails the true nature of female sexuality IF it were left unfettered and without ALL THE CRAP that gets piled on top of it.

BUT, as you say, it's not left that way. I think when really intense emotions start flying about in therapy, things just get conflated with sex - regardless of gender, whatever. I think it is a natural and very very human response to a genuine show of affection.

That plus I think you should consider the fact that in order to get animals to mate in captivity, all we have to do is put them together and close a door so to speak. Sound familiar?

I think these feelings are sooooo intense and sooooo intrusive because you want them to go away. You're expending a lot of energy into suppressing something that is IMO, innate to humans, natural, and altogether normal. It would be like trying to convince yourself that your not thirsty, when you are. It just won't work and you must be exhausted.

What if you said "Okay, genetic programming, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but we are going to have to live together, so let's call a truce" and really just let the feelings be. Maybe even (gasp!) enjoyed the desire for connection and intimacy.

Again, just my thoughts. It's the way I reasoned it out in my head, and damn if it didn't work.