It looks to me like she made it clear, here:
Quote:
Once I finished reading, she said that it was very insightful. She replied, "You have a lot of head knowledge. You understand yourself much better than you give yourself credit for. Now we have to take that head knowledge and apply it. You don't like to take care of yourself and your emotional needs. That makes you uncomfortable. We need to explore where that is coming from and change your thought process on that. You deserve to be loved, nurtured, respected, and cared for. Why do you have such a hard time accepting that? Where are those negative thoughts coming from? This is something that we have to work through in order for you to continue to have progress in therapy."
She went on to say, "Yes, we will need to revisit the emotions you are going through now (my feelings for her). We need to make sure we keep that in check. It is okay to feel like you do. We just need to help you find those healthy, intimate relationships with others. This will be scary for you because you don't let anyone in your circle. That is why you are so lonely. God made us to desire intimacy and relationships with others. You cannot expect to shut down that part of you and ignore it. This is why you are in so much pain. You won't allow yourself to be human!"
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You should bring it up every now and then and revisit it?
It does seem to me that you are working awfully hard on the relationship between you two (which is an arbitrary, "imaginary" one) rather than looking at yourself enough and what you are doing in your own life, how your feelings are reflected in your life, what they are telling you about you, instead of about you and her or her at all. She is not really a part of your equation and you are just "using" her as a stand-in for something else; that's what therapy does? So, instead of looking too hard at those literal thoughts/feelings, you should be looking more at the energy behind them and where you would like it to reside.
I'm not saying it well but maybe a slightly different example will serve: I'm obese. Fat is stored energy. I have a lot of stored energy. What could I use that for? How could I access it? Instead of thinking in terms of losing weight and dieting, etc., I want to look at it as a resource and use it positively.