My previous T told me that I was really good at compartmentalizing my CSA for decades. I remembered it, but more or less ignored it and told myself that I'd dealt with it and it didn't affect me.

It allowed me to focus on other things in my life and not constantly be ruminating on the abuse and its aftermath. It worked for a long time, at least to a point. It cost me a lot, in unacknowledged effects, but overall my life wasn't that bad.

It fell apart when I got seriously triggered for the first time over the summer. I spiraled into depression and couldn't concentrate on anything. The thoughts would not stay neatly tucked into their little compartment.

Now, I'm in the process of integrating the experience. Dealing with it directly, in the hopes that, by doing that, it can eventually stop being the focus of my thoughts.