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Emerylost, sorry you are having a difficult time. Are you taking anything for this and seeing a therapist? I hope you will find a way out of these bad thoughts and soon can be on your way to mend again. If you share more, I am pretty sure many of the nice folks here on PC (none-professionals0 can relate to your problems. You are not by yourself with this. Others have and are feeling the same way. Hope you will hang out here and share your stories with us.
Hugs, bj
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The scientists’ religious feeling takes the form of a rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection.Albert Einstein
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