Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
It looks to me like she made it clear, here:
You should bring it up every now and then and revisit it?
It does seem to me that you are working awfully hard on the relationship between you two (which is an arbitrary, "imaginary" one) rather than looking at yourself enough and what you are doing in your own life, how your feelings are reflected in your life, what they are telling you about you, instead of about you and her or her at all.
She is not really a part of your equation and you are just "using" her as a stand-in for something else; that's what therapy does? So, instead of looking too hard at those literal thoughts/feelings, you should be looking more at the energy behind them and where you would like it to reside.
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I do not like looking at myself, that's for sure. It is embarrassing for me to talk about myself in therapy. I feel stupid most of the time. I would love to just walk in there next week and spill my guts about all of this that I have been going through. I want to be able to do that, but I can't do that with her. Not with the feelings being directed toward her. If the transference was with someone else, I could talk to her.