i kind of knew i had a hard time saying no but i wish she would give me the secrete to being able to say it.i told he that i was scared people would be mad at me,hate me,or be hurt by me and i just am not that kind of person.i hate it when i hurt people or when someone is angry with me.i don't see the point that it just makes things worse. i told her like in the situation with my step mom.no i didn't like the smoking but telling her not to smoke would have made things worse because with her smoking and me keeping my mouth shut only hurts me.if i tell her that i would rather her not smoke she would get med at me and cause anger and hurt,now no she wouldn't smoke but she would be angry at me and hurt and now i am smoke free but hurt and feeling horrible.in the first situation only i am affected in the second one we are both affected.so i choose the first scenario.that is just me.i wish i could allow it the other way around but i cant