Hello Ramy, and welcome to Psych Central. I am glad you found us. I'm wondering if you could possibly be someone I know. I once supervised an exchange student from Cairo whose name was Ramy, and you would be about the right age. I know that Cairo is a huge city, so the chances must be slim that you are my student, but either way I am very happy to hear from you. Please write to me if you want to, okay?

The others are right about not being able to diagnose you here. This is a support group, and it isn't designed to give professional services like assessment or treatment. You can learn a lot from being here though. Maybe when you read about other people's experiences you will find something that sounds like what you are going through, and maybe you will get some ideas that work for you.

Even if someone here were qualified to diagnose you, we would need more information and would need to ask more questions. It sounds like sometimes you are depressed, but not all the time. There are mood disorders that come in cycles. You are also saying that you struggle with controlling your thoughts, trying to motivate yourself, and also to convince yourself of what you say you know you want. Maybe part of you wants it but another part doesn't. You are the only one who can tell which part is right, or maybe it's not one or the other and you need to work out a compromise.

There are medications to control depression or stabalize your mood. Could you talk to a doctor about what might help you? If your thinking is disorganized or it is hard to stay on task, or you focus so much on one thing that you don't get around to other things, there are medications for those problems too. I think that medications just make you feel better temporarily and don't fix anything though, because they don't teach you to think differently. So I think it is important to get treatment from a psychologist or counselor or therapist too. If you can't go to one in person, would working with a counselor online be something you could try?

Ramy, I do hope that you will stay around and that you find some help here. Maybe we will have more or better ideas for helping you or telling you something you can try after we get to know you better.

Best of luck!
Rap/Wendy