Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1
if i tell her that i would rather her not smoke she would get med at me and cause anger and hurt,now no she wouldn't smoke but she would be angry at me and hurt and now i am smoke free but hurt and feeling horrible.in the first situation only i am affected in the second one we are both affected.so i choose the first scenario.that is just me.i wish i could allow it the other way around but i cant
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Yeah - except it's not a math problem, upsetting one person is better than upsetting two. So mostly now I avoid people (ie my stupid family) who put me in this position, because I CAN'T stay calm and ignore my feelings anymore, not since T started treating me like I matter. I can't THINK these things out anymore. I USED to think like that, and explain it to previous T's, but they would tell me my so-called logic sucked. NOW I understand why. So yeah, I wouldn't hassle with the stepmother either over something like this, except I really can't be around cigarette smoke, it's instant pneumonia for me. SO HARD!!!
