My heart cries for you,as I can relate.We,as borderlines had to survive so much,and were so busy being what we thought would help us simply survive,that we've lost our identity.It is a very painful thing to feel as if you must navigate through the seas of "normals" or those who exude stability.Because it reflects as an opposite mirror,and a reflection of what appears unobtainable,It is a deeply hurtful reality.One that many cannot fathom.Because our identity is so faint,and so out of reach we clamor to grasp that which seems attractive,or acceptable.Somewhere within I believe that if we had a level of faith in our own goodness and judgement,we could truly love our selves as well as others must love themselves.But that faith was shaken with the constant quakes of the caretakers around us.We were dependent,and needed to believe in the little god of our youths.Our parents.Those who most deeply set their roots inside us.The t.p thing is a prime example.Most would simply tell the person,look,if you are so disturbed by the way I run my life,then adjust it to please yourself,you are the one with the issue.But we don't do that,can't.Because somewhere inside a voice says….it wouldn't have been said if it were not true.Well….so what if it's true.We are individuals and adult,and thereby are capable of determining the things which matter in our own personal lives.I have to wonder as an outsider,(though if I were you I may not see it) What is so lacking in their life,that they have the time to scold and shame me for such a trivial feat?You said…"someone with bpd who survives is a successful person" That brought me to tears.Because the healthy aspect of me knows you are right.Here I sit,contemplating ending my life because of the guilt I feel for ending a marriage which is detrimental to my health,and yet,look at what I survived thus far.Look at what you have survived.Each day we breathe is a new success.I have one friend,and it isn't because I have nothing to offer.It is because my damage prevents me from being comfortable enough in my own skin to trust that I am made of any type of goodness.Yet,I know I am.I know I am made of both goodness and fallibility.Just as all other humans in the trenches of this thing called life.No better,no worse.Just looking through different eyes.Eyes that refuse self-love.Eyes that saw others saying you have no value.Well one figures then,I must have no value.If I did ,then why would you say I didn't?We ALL need to continue improving,and frankly there are far too many who can see no need for it.It IS ok to be who and what you want you to be…and it is also ok to be at the point where you happen to be on your path in life.In closing,I want to let you know that you have assisted me tonight ,unfortunately,via the pain you are enduring.You have shed a light in my darkness and I thank you.