M.Scott Peck starts his book Road Less Traveled with the line life is difficult. That book is supposed to be the most popular self help book ever sold. He was a psychotherapist and he stated that people that take too much responsibility are considered neurotic and people that take too little responsibility could be labeled as having a character disorder. A character disorder is much harder to treat he stated so at least you got that going for you.
You might want to check out these two sites on self compassion
http://www.self-compassion.org/
http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/
Also check out this Rick Hanson you tube video about taking in the good and filling the hole in your heart.