Granite, I get the feeling that the session was better and you saw your T as friendly because something changed in you. Something changed with you so that you had less transference and projection and you could see your T for who she really was. Plus if you arrive really fearful and slightly freaked out you will affect how your T responds to you. How we are, affects others.

I think that if you keep working on the saying no and why you can't say it you will get somewhere eventually. You have really good insight into it now. Keep working!