I am stressing so badly right now. My best friend is making the worst choices right now. . .and it is pulling her into this incredible depression. This guy she is with is . . .I don't know. . .there isn't even a word for him. He is from her past, but in her past he has abused her, even to the point of threatening to kill her and her child. I can't understand why she keeps doing this with him; she even says herself that he is so bad for her. And she knows that as long as she is taking up with him, then I can't have anything to do with her. My husband is concerned for my well being, as well as our children's b/c of this guy's influence and his attitudes. He believes he is a Vampire, and tells people he is Satan. Hello? Today, she told me she was making him leave. . .he kept telling her he had no place to go, and I kept reminding her, "That is HIS problem, not yours. If you want him out of your house, you make YOUR choices and let him make his." There is a shelter here he can stay at, easily. If he choses not to, well then, that is his choice. Her mother called me earlier very concerned b/c she wouldn't answer her phone, and so against my better judgement I went over there. She had taken DOUBLE the amount of her sleeping pills (Seroquel). I didn't know whether to just drive away or haul her to the hospital. She thinks people are walking out on her. . .when really its her turning her back on us. I hate being betrayed. . .being told that I mean something to someone, and then using me. That sucks.

But at the same time, as angry as I am right now. . . I feel like a part of my heart is dying. It's like something, this piece of me is being torn out alive. I can't do anything to help her. . .how do you help someone who won't help themselves EXCEPT by taking a step back and not enabling them anymore? It hurts so bad to hear her say to me, "You are leaving me" when I haven't gone anywhere. I just want my friend back. I waited 31 years to have a friend like this, more like a sister really, and now I feel like this evil cancer is just killing her right in front of me.