I really enjoyed your post Tim,

I agree with several of the op, it does sound like she has a problem with depression - or it could be caused from a thyroid problem, very common cause of depression symtoms especially in older women. Her current medications may be part of the problem too. It is very possible there is a physical medical reason for her depression like issues.

I'd say get her to see her doctor, maybe have a trusted family member go with her so that the 'issues' can be talked about. When the appointment is made, m i l needs to express the reason for the appointment, or it won't be addressed. That's the way most doctors work these days due to insurance restrictions. They won't discuss more than what the appointment subject is about. Saddness, lack of pleasure, grief, no motivation needs to be stated when the appointment is made.

She did have a long life time with her husband - good or bad, but now she has a huge change in her life. All change takes getting used to. She needs to greive even if she wasn't 'happily' married. She maybe processing so much more than the death and her aloneness. Like, what could have been, what should have been, guilt about the way things turned out, whether or not it is false guilt or not, resentment is a huge emotion to hurddle alone ---

I especially liked the suggestion about going to a group for support for widows. I know I do so much better in my life when I'm involed with others who have similiar life situations/likes/etc as I have. Just look at AA as an example. Support is key in your m i l's life.

Watching the TV show Horders, the therapists who specialize in this disorder say that the person who collects stuff has a need to control something in their lives. The last time I watched the show, the T told the audience that the person has to be an active part in making the decisions on what to throw away, has to see it, and feel the emotional reaction connected to the objects. For you to just come in and do all the cleaning etc without her having an active part seems like the wrong approach.

Medical check up is the first move I'd say. From there, the doctor may have some advise as well. He may suggest therapy for the loss she has suffered.

You are a great son in law to want to have her see how to save some money and have a nice home to live in and have her happy, sweet and giving again.