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Mar 01, 2012, 03:32 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: California
Posts: 283
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Ok, so I was just thinking about this startling possibly disturbing realization.  A while back I posted about this (with a different handle, I've since changed- it was back in 2009 or so) about how I had a short love affair with this guy I met who then moved to Korea shortly after we met to teach English. I was thinking about how he made a bad joke (?) about how I'm the kind of person that he could just chill and hang out with as opposed to a person he'd kill. I don't know how he said it exactly, obviously in a way that wasn't as disturbing at the time I was able to laugh it off and change the subject to avoid awkwardness. But then just now I was thinking about a boyfriend I had in college for about 4 months, he was a friend and then we remained friends afterward. Anyway, I was just remembering one time when I was riding with him and his best friend around town one night and they asked if I'd like to see where they buried the bodies. I laughed it off, thinking they were just trying to spook me- I remember my bf of the time saying softly under his breath "She doesn't believe us." Now, remembering these two instances together, I wonder about the kind of men I \'m attracting. Considering before this I was in an emotionally and verbally abusing relationship and in the beginning when things were mostly good my bf of the time was talking about how much he changed and about how he used to be a bad man I asked if he had ever killed anyone and he just didn't answer the question but at the time I thought he was just trying to make himself sound dangerous or cool or something and didn't think he had. Now I wonder. Well, anyway, this is just sort of random because it doesn't really apply to me currently but I just had to put it out there and get some feedback to trouble my worried mind. Thanks for reading.
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