My Support Forums - View Single Post - Why can't I shut off that part of my brain? Please go away and stop tormenting me!

Mar 01, 2012, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I agree with Sannah. As hard and embarrassing as it is, our Ts are the ones we need to talk about the transference with. No one else can possibly help because it's what we need professional help for. It happens for a reason and that's what we're in therapy to work through--those intense feelings that make us think we're crazy.

We have to continue talking about them until we are done, like the article says. I thought I was getting "done", but I'm not, so I will bravely march into my next session and ask for help with my feelings. My T and I will be "curious" about them together. Can you look at it like that? You and your T will be curious together. It's not about being ashamed or embarrassed of your feelings, but about accepting them and understanding where they come from. We can do this together, Squiggle! "The best way out is always through".

I know that you and Sannah are probably right, but this is too hard for me right now. I have missed two days of work this week. I can't say it is directly because of this, but I am sure the torment I am putting myself through has definitley caused me to fall into place I don't want to be. I cry about anything and everything. My mom came by to visit me. The first thing she asked me was if I thought I was suffering from depression.

She may be right. But I have to snap out of this and get back to work! For me, if I 'think' I did something wrong, my brain tells me that I actually did it. Even though logically I know I didn't, my body is reacting as though I did. Does that make sense?

You would think I took advantage of my therapist (in a sexual way) without her consent. That is what I am thinking/feeling. I can't get past these feelings of guilt and shame.