Dear T

Today's emails and conversation are worthy of their own Very Bad Film script. So, I've written one. I thought that if I do make to the session tomorrow, we could both save ourselves a lot of energy by just reading from the page.

Me: Um, can you please show up for appointments on time, and if you can't call could you please tell me in advance?

You: You're right, we must make Radical Changes to all our contact arrangements!!

Me: Hang on, that's not really related in any way to what I sai...

You [interrupting]: But I'm doing this because I am LISTENING TO YOU! I TAKE WHAT YOU TELL ME SERIOUSLY!

Me: But I wasn't actually talking about the contact, I was just talking about...

You [interrupting]: Never mind! I've been wanting to change our contact for ages and your email created the perfect opportunity! Plus this way you'll learn never to complain about anything again!

Me: okaaay [catch breathe, freeze thoughts, shut off heart], what Radical Changes do you have in mind?

You: [deranged from lack of sleep, stress and feeling corralled into making a call you didn't want to make] I have absolutely no ****ing idea, but I thought it would be good to throw it out there!

Me: okaaay, would you like to maybe think about it and get back to me?

You: No! Let's get together tomorrow and have this Exact Same Conversation all over again! That will be more fun! Plus, imagine how ****ing desperate you'll feel at the end! And even better, it's Friday, so you'll have the whole weekend to spend trapped in your own personal hell! Yahay!!

Me:...

Here the script is still unwritten. Will I (A) say no, and wait for you to recover a bit and have a think, or (B) come, get highly distressed, and regret it? I want with all my heart to choose scenario A, but history tells me that I should put my money on B.