I know that almost everyone wants to make sure they never hurt the people they love, but it gets to a point where I'm bottling up years and years of things because I dont want to upset anyone.

For starters there's my father, who left was I was 16 (I'm 18 now) and was abusive in every way to my mother and emotionally abusive to me and my brother. In our house growing up you weren't allowed to feel what YOU felt, you had to work around my father's moods..Anyway my birthday is coming up and it's the same day as my dad's, he hasn't contacted me at all for a few months and I know he'll probably text me on the day, but I'm so angry that he just shows up on holidays etc..So there's a lot from my entire life that I want to say, I need to tell him what I think of him and his pathetic attempt at being a father. But I've always been the peace keeper, trying to calm everyone down. He's not exactly emotionally stable and I dont want to put myself or my family in danger. I also dont want him to hurt himself. But there is NO way I can word what needs to be said nicely..

The main reason I'm here is that my relationship with this man I've been with for two years is...strange. I've tried to break up with him a few times but he just always says if I change my mind he'll be there, so I cant get any closure and end up going back. Also from the last time I tried to break up with him in early January he says he doesn't trust me fully, which I can understand, but I can never get my point across because he dismisses anything I say and just talks about how HE feels and what HE wants. Just like my father.

I dont want to be trapped being scared all of my life and always trying to please people. I dont know how to stop it.