Technically I am not alone my dad is home but he is working down the basement but I don't tell him that I feel like cutting. I did tell my mom over the phone. The only thing that I can think that is triggering this (the thoughts have been going on for a couple of days) is that my mom is gone but returning tonight and that my pdoc left for Florida last Sunday and will be home sometime this weekend. My mom doesn't think I should text my pdoc and I'm not sure either. I have a hard time telling my dad things on how I feel. I can't even ask my dad for some money that I paid for groceries that my mom said that my dad said he would pay for the groceries. I think why I can't or don't trust my dad has to do with him being away most of my childhood because of his job. Life sucks at times. I will try not to cut, usually I scratch or use my watch at myself. I will try and be safe and not do anything.