I think loving T is easier and safer than love IRL. Out in the world we have to live life, we have to give and take, we have to decide who's going to wash the dishes, we have to agree where to go on vacation. It's messy and it can lead to bad feelings.

Of course love of T feels perfect. Slightly messy but confined in those well preserved boundaries. We have little responsibility in session except be ourselves. And T doesn't have any expectations of us - she/he is not waiting for us to take out the garbage or cook the dinner. It's very easy in just those very few isolated hours in their office.

A relationship like that could never ever never ever survive in the real world. It doesn't mean that our relationship with T isn't real - it's real in that office. I love my T and I depend on her and I cherish her. But I know for sure I don't want her in my real world. I want her the way she is - listening to me intently, accepting of me completely, 100% focused on helping me. That's what i want and need and love. It's perfect.