No, I am not worried about her dying. I was actually relieved a little when she emailed me on Sunday to say she had to cancel our Wednesday session. But on Monday, I started going downhill. I didn't see that it had anything to do with her, but my husband did. He thinks her not being here has really upset me because I need that support. I am not really getting it right now. I won't email her because that would be disrespectful given that she just lost her father-in-law.

She had to cancel another time or two due to issues with her children being sick or the babysitter cancelled. I was okay during those times because I could continue to email and could call if I needed to (although I never do). Just knowing she is avaible is part of this. She is not available right now.

My depression may not have one thing to do with her canceling our session. It may have to do with the overwhelming things that I am going through in my life right now. When I get too many things happening at once, I don't handle it well. Others won't see it. They will think I am fine. But I know that truth. That is why I didn't go to work two days this week. I knew I could not hide it, so I chose to stay away from people.