I'm in so much pain and I want to tell you what's happening but I don't know how, it's something I haven't said out loud yet because I don't want it to be real. Insensitive people are making everything so much worse. I want to trust you with all of this but I don't know if I can. And what if I run out of time before I tell you. There's so much I haven't told you I don't know where to start anymore, it's all piling up and consuming me. I'm so alone