(((theysayitsbeautiful)) - please reach out for help right now - call a family member, friend and your doctor, if you have one. You can even go to the ER right now and admit yourself. Most of all don't do anything to hurt yourself. This difficult time will pass and become a distant memory...it always passes. Suicide is permanent, but your feelings and problems aren't. If you don't know what to do because you're exasperated, just be patient and wait till you feel better. You can't logically solve problems when you're in crisis. Here's some good links:

http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/inte...-hotlines.html