Welcome and ((((((( HUGS ))))))) Ramy,

I think what you are going thru is very normal, for we as humans always like to relive that which brought us happiness and joy through out our life.... when we loose some thing we will try to find the object lost, or replace it (and) that is what you are probably doing here - a form of REPLACING.

Please do as the others have suggested and see a doctor (a MD will do) for some medicine and for the Dx that you seek.... we are all here for YOU and our arms, heart and ears are always open to the wounded heart.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -