Thank you so very much for this. I have carried it around in my head since yesterday. It reminded me that somewhere along the line, I have moved the goalposts. For so many years I truly thought I was going to die. And as I get 'better', I get frustrated that I am not doing enough, fast enough. I compare myself with others of my age and feel that I should be some way through my career, own a house, be married by now. I get angry with myself for the odd days when I don't get out of bed, don't get enough work done, don't hang up the washing. I forget to notice that I'm alive, when I should have been dead by now.

I have always felt very rejecting of the BPD label- never offically received it, and have never felt part of the 'us'. Your post is the first time I have felt part of the 'us'- and proud to be. I didn't die. We didn't die. We should be celebrating this as much as groups of people who have survived cancer do. Nobody runs through the streets for us. Nobody wears ribbons. In most areas of my life nobody can know that I am even 'ill'. There may not be anyone who knows how much harder it is. Nobody to celebrate with. But maybe we need to celebrate together the fact that we continue to survive.

PS Yes. Toilet rolls. Definitely. I was thinking of building a house in my garden using solely toilet rolls. Perhaps you could send your troublesome relative to live in it?