Oh!! so it's more with your sons......

Well, first I'd say--- keep in mind the age of your husband and how he is now, compared to when he was 21 or 16 (if you knew him back then-- if not ask his mom or sisters)....... takes time in many cases, for people to grow emotionally. ( I realize that doesn't help much with the present pain though )

Second, I talk things over with hubby and ask him to have a talk with the boys--- seems he can speak "male teen" language better than I can.

If the communication is left open without accusations-- but with understanding and honesty...... it might help a bit. At your sons ages they surely don't want a "lecture" (the way they see it) from their mom--- just seems to come across totally different when it comes from the dad/ adult male figure.

Sorry you are feeling hurt....... hang in there.......

Wishing you good luck!