I really understand the "fragile like an Easter Lilly"-- me too.

I'll be thinking of you and hope the talk with your husband goes well.

As for him talking with your boys... if he doesn't want to do that.... perhaps you could emphasize how important setting a good example is, regarding how he acts towards you (like listening with gentle responses) -- when in front of your boys. ---- just a thought.
It can sure be a tough road at times.

Wishing you well