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Here is the real time situation that has me facing this dilemma. Even to call it a dilemma shows a weakness in my ethical armour.
An emerging friendship centre has contracted me for 12 month to deliver an employment program. They asked me to recommend space options for the program. I layed out the limited options and made my recommendation. There were many obvious advantages to the space I recommended as the clear front runner. It meets all of their wish list and much more.
The president of the friendship centre ran into the centre’s City Liaison. They talked about the search for space. He agreed that my recommendation was ideal but he warned the president off suggesting there was too much politics involved in the space. When I spoke to the president she seems willing to heed his concern and nix the space as an option. For her it is not worth the risk to go against the City because the Friendship Centre benefits from the City’s support. For her it is a fair trade off to stay out of the mix.
The politics involved revolves around the City’s interests in land where this space is situated. The land is currently owned by a small non-profit that has been battling the City for decades to preserve the towns historic old train station. The City has bullied this group of 70 and 80 year old lifelong citizens in the hope of wearing them down or maybe just waiting for them all to die off. The City’s interest is in tearing down the station house, commercially developing the land and securing a larger tax base.
Now we have a city official, who because of the City’s entanglement with the station house is in a conflict of interest position influencing the decision of others in the City’s favour. He is ethically bound to avoid any appearance of a conflict of interest and yet he did it knowingly, openly and with casual disregard. This is not acceptable to me.
This is not the first job I will have backed away from because of ethical and moral conflicts. If I walk away my friends and family will shake their heads and tell me I am being irresponsible and taking this ‘ethics and principle’ stuff too far. Few of the people around me will be able to understand or support me if I choose to walk away. I wish it were that simple for me but I am glad it isn’t at the same time.
For now I wait to see how it unfolds. Will the rest of the Board allow themselves to be intimidated by the threat of ruffling relations with the City? Will they base their decision on the council members warning or will it be based on selecting the best space and be willing to work around the politics.
My next step depends on their next step. I need this job. It is worth 5 times what I receive from disability benefits. The money from this job would be a lifesaver. The clock has been ticking for me as I wonder how much longer before they come and take my house from me. The pantry is empty and some days I go without to make sure my son is fed. My family says I can’t live on my principle but I say I can’t live without them.
Will I bow to the pressure and abandon my beliefs? Can I be bought? I am wrestling for the right answer to this potential dilemma. The fact that I am wrestling disturbs me. It should be easy. Without ethics nothing else matters.
Not sure anyone has stuck it out to read this long ramble of mine. It helps me to clarify some of my thinking either way. I can let it go for the moment while I wait to see how this in fact unfolds. But it isn't easy. It has been a rough day with this popping into my head all the time.
I now give this up to the universe to determine my fate. I have been as authentic with myself as I can be. That is all I can do for now. I claim some peace for myself.
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