Sweetie - my heart truly goes out to you. You and I are somewhat kindred spirits when it comes to the mother thing - as mine did pretty much the same thing. I'm 40 now, but I remember all the things she did and still does and it hurts like hell.

I hope you know that you are important, and that your life (although it may not seem like it now) has meaning. Your mother is probably depressed too, and is taking all her anger and depression out on you. I've been there. And as sad as it is, she's hurting too. Or she wouldn't be hurting you. She's projecting.

I'm not condoning what she'd doing - not by a long shot. But to feel this bad and be so scared is really awful for you. I had my father that I ran to, and I'm wondering who you have? I'm glad you do have friends that care so deeply for you, because that's what you need right now.

In the meantime, please don't give up. You are worth more than the pain being inflicted on you, whether you think so right now or not. Check in, will you?