Hi Korana,

I don't really know much about BPD, so I cannot make any comments from that perspective. However, I have experience somewhat similar events to you. Just last weekend I was drinking and ended up throwing a full drink in someone's face out of anger. I remember the drink being in my hand and then being made aware that there was alcohol all over the walls. The inbetween I do not recall at all nor do I know what caused this reaction. Unlike you however I have been told I have anger problems and it is not just necessarily when I drink, even though normally I can control it.

According to my T, anger is usually a secondary emotion to something such as sadness and usually when a current reaction to something is disproporationate to the actual event it is due to anger being built up from past events.

The fact that this only occured when you drank and you are not normally angry may just mean you don't handle alcohol very well. On the other hand, your severe reaction may mean there is some underlying issue that the alcohol just revealed. If you have a T, this is something I would definately explore with them.

One thing my T told me to do is try to be mindful about my anger. And consider how someone else might react in this type of situation when I get angry. I'm still working on trying to figure this out, and I haven't had much success.

Not sure if any of this was actually helpful to you, just wanted to let you know your not alone out there