Just updating now...

Just one hour after I posted this, I talked to a friend of mine in America and she sent me the number to Sweden's Suicide Hotline so I could talk to them. I waited one hour before calling them and the person I talked with was very understanding and she helped me quite a lot. I thank her for that. She made me change my mind, but then I know that my suicidal thoughts will eventually come back in time.

But right now, I'm okay and I hope I will remain okay for the rest of the week.