to me it boils down to making a choice...opting to live, survive & fight or not. somehow deep inside there is something that makes a conscious decision to fight..i am not talking a fight/flight one ..that is a short term survival method. this is more of a long term commitment.

look my parents wanted me dead from the 1st time they laid eyes on me. i was not the perfect child they dreamed of. they tried daily to kill me..thru rape, beatings, etc. childhood was a daily dose of hell. they told me i would be killed at 18 because i wasn't pretty or stupid enough to just go be a breeder.

i am a fighter have been from that very first day. used my too small hipocamos sized brain to fight. never let them get the best of me as a child or young adult. i fought back...made a promise to myself..they could have my body but not my soul.

developed DID besides ptsd ..but i managed to do very well at school & sports & despite being told i would be dead at 18 finagled myself into jr college & then a full ride to a 4 yr private school. then later i stumbled onto a career..a career which also gave me ptsd..but one i loved.

what worked for me was making a choice to live...& fight...& thrive. knowing what works for you & running with it. despite the odds..look everyone has adversity...for many reasons...some much worse than mine..& again it boils down to making a choice.

i have a brother & a sister...i have not seen or heard from them in over 20 yrs. & that is just fine. one is mentally ill...the other just like his father. they made their choices
early on my sister never fought...she was the chosen daughter because of her looks etc. last i heard she was homeless & schizophrenic. my brother...i do not need to know where he is. choices.

illness is illness..be it cancer, the flu, ptsd, depression, asthma...no one wants any of them...but you can wallow or you can deal with it and live life. any day i spend wallowing is one i would miss out on enjoying something else...it's just that simple.

do i have ptsd? yes. but i also have asthma, high blood pressure, orthopedic issues, tri-geminal neuralgia, bipolar, & a host of other things. i could wallow for over a week if i chose to honor each one of them..but then i have lost that week.