Hi. A service man, sent by the landlord, came to my home to day to do some repairs.

While he was here, twice he went off into a monologue. The first time, he started telling me how a family member of his is mentally challenged. He used some very harsh words to describe his nephew's actions that, to him, demonstrate the young man's stupidity. He talked for a good 3 - 4 minutes straight and just devalued his nephew the whole time.. and then, towards the end of his speech, he denigrated his whole family, basically saying that he was far too intelligent to be related to them. The entire time he was saying all this, he had tools in his hand and was standing between me and the front door.

It made me uncomfortable, but I thought it was just because of my past abuse and my sensitivity to being vulnerable.

He went outside, put those tools in his vehicle and came back in, presumably to collect the rest of his stuff. He got more tools together, including a large wrench. He had both hands filled with tools and was standing in the kitchen. He looked at me and started talking to me again about stupid people. He went on for about 10 minutes in another monologue. He touched on several subjects, from weather and changes in tectonic plates, the solar system, the universe, sci-fi movies, how stupid people should be executed, his nephew's future, cannibalism, annihilation of millions of people, how hard people fight when they know they are about to die, plankton harvesting and his admitted harshness. At one point during this monologue, he set some of the tools down, so he had one hand free.

I was already uncomfortable with him standing there talking about such gruesome ugly subjects, but then when I saw him free up one hand and holding a large wrench in the other, I had my home phone in one hand and then I grabbed my cell phone in the other. I input 911 on the cell phone and had to keep doing so, because every ten seconds or so, the phone would return to the home page. I was trying to keep 911 up on the phone, so if this guy did try to hurt me, all I had to do was press the "call" button and help would be on the way.

My anxiety increased the whole time he was talking. I looked him in the eye, except when I had to re-input 911 on my phone. I can't really explain it, but I saw anger in his eyes. I got an overwhelming feeling that he wanted to hurt me. I was frightened, but I did not know what to do. So I sat there and listened, with the phones at the ready.

I got the feeling he knew I was afraid and was enjoying that. I tried my best to not show my fear, but still did what I thought of to protect myself.

He moved toward me twice, while making hand gestures appropriate to the topic about which he was speaking. Problem was, the topic was not appropriate. Each time though, he moved back to his original position. He did NOTHING aggressive toward me. NOTHING AT ALL. I kept reminding me of this fact. I tried to comfort myself with it.

After his second monologue was over, (don't know what made him decide it was over) he picked up the other tools, one of which was a cordless drill, and walked out, saying he would be back later in the week to finish to rest of the job.

Once he was gone, I still felt uneasy about the whole encounter. I remembered a former therapist telling me that sometimes we have instinctual feelings about someone who is dangerous and that those feelings are there for our safety. She said I needed to learn to trust those feelings and listen to them. On the other hand, I also thought, well, I am overly sensitive to other people's potential to harm me (and others.) I am not paranoid, but I am avoidant of people in general, because of the harm I have experienced in the past.

Trying to figure out if my feelings were the helpful warning type or the more irrational fear type, I decided to check the sex offender registry to see if he was there.

He was listed as a registered sex offender.

So,after all this lengthy explanation, here is what I need advice on:

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

Obviously, I need to cancel our appointment later this week. But what about when something does need done around here? Do I not call the property management company because I do not want this guy coming to the house?

Do I tell the property management company that he is a sex offender, in case they don't know they are sending a sex offender into people's homes? If I do that, won't that just piss him off, perhaps to the point of coming after me?

I have tried to get someone to come over when he is here, but since I have isolated myself so much, my list of people to ask is slim and I have not been able to secure anyone.

I have read that most BDPers have a history of being abused. Do any of you find that you attract abusive people? How have you learned the necessary skills to protect your self from these people? Do they seem to be attracted to you?

I have thought that somehow these folks (antisocial personality and psychopathic) can see the word "victim" on some of our foreheads. Even though I do stay to myself, it seems there is always at least one of them around. It is sickening.

I really do not know the best thing to do. Any sincere feedback is appreciated.

Sorry this is such a long post, but I wanted to include all the facts in order to give you a more accurate picture of the situation.

Thanks again.