The SilentEmpath, Your list is familiar to me from long ago. I think I have felt all these things at one time. Now, I believe that life is a gift that needs to be used to it's fullest.
The earth is a place to plant and harvest and love, and hate and have the passions life has to offer. We are not here for long, only a blink of an eye in the long millenniums of time. Should we not use this time as a positive source in our families, in our communities, and in all social endeavors. Just existing is beyond my ability to fathom as having a life that finishes with a little bit of bravado and caring from the special others we have in life. I do genealogy and I see the many, many, many people in my family line who have struggled with their lives and endured and thrived in the meanest of conditions. Life is important or I do not feel we would be here. I do hope that you will seek professional help with this extreme apathy you have. Existing is no way to spend one's life, living, laughing , loving, doing ,believing in ourselves is so important to the individual and to our society. Hugs, bj