Hi, BrokenCloud!

I would tend to think that the only people who are "totally destroyed" by their life experiences are those who wind up destroying themselves physically. Everyone else survives in some way, shape or form. A survivor is simply someone who continues breathing.

But there are more and different survival modes than there are colors in a rainbow. Each of which permits the survivor to capitalize on their own strengths and talents to different extents. And, to me at least, you're only in trouble if you have a six or eight cylinder engine and are only firing on one cylinder. If you have a one cylinder engine and are firing that all the time, you're cool.

In other words, what your mental situation may force you to give up in life needs (I think) to be evaluated against what you might theoretically have achieved using all your skills and talents and intelligence. And me, I'm pretty much in your shoes. I really don't have the slightest idea how some people survive intact the most destructive kinds of early childhoods.

Sure didn't happen to me. I've always been the eight cylinder firing on one. If I had to guess about the reasons why some damaged people are able to use a greater percentage of their inherent gifts, I would opt for temperament. Temperament is the inherited portion of our personality, and it's entirely possible that resilience is a function of temperament.

You've asked an excellent question that deserves an excellent answer. I don't know if a real answer exists yet or is a few hundred years down the line. I guess it boils down to resilience and what it's made of. Right now it's rather mysterious. In the future it won't be. Take care!