LostGirl, I had a schizophrenic abusive mother. I had no contact with her at the close of her life. We lived in different states and I would not talk to her on the phone. I did not go to her funeral either. My guilt has to do with not living up to my own expectations of who I am/was. It had little to do with her; the guilt that is. It's been quite awhile ago, and does not bother me so much now. But I did let myself down by my actions. I do think protecting yourself is very important, so you can only do what you can do. I grieved loosing the person she could have been. Hugs, bj