Oh that's right, you do have a counselor, right? I'm sure that you will want to talk to her about what happened with your doctor. I don't know what meds you are on, but I understand that you can get unpleasant withdrawal symptoms if you go off of them all at once, so just running out of meds is not desirable. Can you schedule a meeting with your doctor and your counselor together to talk about what it is that you need? Maybe the counselor can help your doctor to understand that telling him about the SI doesn't change your status - you were simply being open and giving him all of the relevant information. It doesn't mean that a change of medication is necessarily called for.

While it is better to go to a psychiatrist for psych meds, because they do a better job with them, and I respect your doctor for wanting to refer you, I have never been to a psychiatrist (although my sister is one and I did discuss what I was doing with her). All that I have ever used as far as medication is St. John's Wort, and I am doing pretty well. Therapy eventually helped me quite a bit once I found someone compatible. What treatment options you have really should be your choice.

SI can be a problem, and can limit you and hold you back, as well as keeping you from feeling good about yourself. You really should work towards stopping it. But it is possible to be sucessful and still do it, if it is not out of hand. You are definitely not worthless.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It will work out. Let them know how you want to be helped, what you want and what you are afraid of. Show them that you are taking charge of your life.

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

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