I was doing fine for a long time. I thought I had this T-relationship under control, working with the baby, child and teen parts who have these transference feelings for my T. Working on the shame/physical issues is going well too. Then, suddenly I'm triggered by that ET article and I'm getting into my "wanting T too much" mode.

We've talked about it a lot in my sessions. My T says we have a "real relationship" though we're not friends or anything else other than T and client. She's a real person to me, and I like that person. She doesn't act like she's better than me; she's just herself. But now I don't trust that. I'm afraid my feelings for her are all transference feelings and that I'm betraying myself, if that makes any sense. Will it all come crashing down?

I'm trying to pay more attention to my RL relationships but my relationship with my T is still the one I think about most. How can that not be when I've shared everything with her? I'm afraid I will be hurt. I know my place in her life but in that 90 minutes per week we're a team and we work so well together. I'm afraid because it's so good, even the feelings about her as my T. I'm so afraid it will end before I'm ready, or something will change.

I know I'm her client and she's my T but I'm not sure all my "parts" realize that. They still want more of her than they can have. Even the adult parts want that and I can't stop those feelings.

Maybe I should do EMDR to "get rid" of those intense feelings about her but then how can I work through them? I wish it were Tuesday already because I can't figure this out by myself.