years and years ago therapy used to be the in thing to do for the rich and famious so to speak. If you didn't have an analyst you were not worth very much money and personality wise. So in those times people stayed in therapy forever or as long as they could afford to pay for it regardless of having problems or not.

Like everything in life that attitude changed to if a person saw a therapy professional that meant that person was crazy as a bedbug so to speak and if that person had an analyst, psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor they were put down for it. In this timeframe NO ONE wanted to be in therapy regardless of the need or not.

Well times have once again changed. In this time period there is a mixture of the two previous time periods. Some people want to stay in therapy for however long they can afford to pay for it regardless of if they need to or not and others see it as a stigma of stability and refuse it regardless of need or not.

the therapy profession has found a neutral ground and that is that during the first few sessions the client and therapy professional spend time finding out what brought the client into therapy to begin with. Then goals are set around those problems. When those goals have been completed its time to leave therapy.

In some cases along the way of working on those goals other problems also need to be taken care of so more goals are added and completed.

One of my therapy professionals told me in actuality there is no end problems and goal setting it can go on foever because no one is 100% problem free. So I asked her "so when will I be done?"

I will probably never be done with therapy but I like many others may come and go into and out of therapy for the rest of my life because of the type of abuse I went under leave life long problems to take care of. but as for when I would be done with HER - That day would be the day She has nothing else to Bwitch about because I am using all the coping tools to take care of my problems just to keep her off my *****, and because I have better things to do then sit in a stuffy room talking about the sexual abuse I went through.

She was right I have been in and out of therapy for over 20 years. Each time I was done with that round of therapy when my goals were met (that is if I didn't give up before then)

This round of therapy has taken so far almost 6 and a half years. My main goal of getting my depression in control and learning how to take care of it not for short term but forever so that my child could come home was completed in one year. Other goals have been added and completed in that one year and then in the following years many more have been added and completed.

Where am I now? Well I could drop out of therapy today and have close to no problems maintaining my stability. The type of program that I am on is 98% self monitoring self goal setting and self accomplishing. In fact back last summer I found out that the court mandate that I remain in therapy had been closed back in 2002 but the DHS caseworker who had the court order on file never told me the courts had closed it. I had been in therapy fo two years beyond what the court said I had to be.

When my therapist and I were finally told that the court mandate had been closed 2 years earlier we had to decide if I should remain in therapy or not.

My first thought was cool I'm out of here and more than a few evil thoughts about the caseworker and my past lawyer who both had not told my past therapist and I that the court mandate had been closed and lead me to believe I had to remain in therapy for those 2 years.

Then I thought about it from the objective point of view of all I had learned in my total of 4 years of therapy most of which had been done the first three with the past therapist. I saw where I was before entering therapy and then where I was when I had to make this decision and what was left to take care of.

I ultimately stayed in therapy for a few different reasons.

One - I liked where I was compared to where I used to be.

Two - Even though I had entered therapy with a new therapist that I at that time did not personally like I have continued to move forwards under her mental health care guidance.

Three - If I continued to move forwards under her mental health care when I didn't like her and when she was beginning to grow on me the rest of the trip with her could be very beneficial now that I was actually liking her and doing this not to accomplish a one year ethics law time frame and a court order. I could not help but wonder where I would end up now that everything was in my control instead of the court.

four - I looked at my self set goals of what has been completed and what hasn't. At least one of them I could not do on my own - getting rid of a nightmare and the flashbacks that I have that matches the night mare. Working on that causes me to dissociate so I get no where. I felt that having a therapist as a guide for this would be beneficial.

All things considered based on where I was and where I wanted to be and what goals I wanted to complete meant that I remain in therapy.

when I discussed this with my present therapist she felt I made the right choice and used the right criteria to decide that -

I looked at

my accomplishments of goals completed
goals left to be completed
my ability to complete those goals without further guidance,
where I was at the present vs where I wanted to be.

then based on facts not on the emotions of whether or not I liked or hated being in therapy and liked or hated the therpist I made my decision.

and in doing so I made the choice that was right for me.