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Bella01 - That you don't know a solution is not greatly disappointing to me. I don't believe anyone knows "The Solution." (It is nice to get helpful tips, as a poster offered above.) I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to you for two reasons.
1rst: just to hear that someone else experiences what sounds very like what I go through makes me feel less desperately alone with this problem.
2nd: To hear what your T has told you, also, helps me to feel less of a complete loser. Because I get told that, too. And I find that advice about as helpful as you seem to find it. A year ago, I told my pdoc that "I guess my difficulties show a lack of character." He nodded in agreement.
They don't mean to be unhelpful. I am convinced they have a very inadequate understanding of what this condition does to a person. I'm not even giving the "condition" a name. It is under the heading of emotional dysregulation, which really isn't saying anything beyond the obvious. What causes it - I'm not sure, and I think they are only guessing, when they come up with stuff like Bipolarism. Many types of psychological impairment can cause emotional dysregulation. The down phase of that cycle seems to drain a person of any faith that doing anything matters. What people tell you can seem so unconvincing because there is no arguing anyone into "faith."
We lose Faith in life, temporarily. We don't know why exactly. And neither does anyone else. That's why I think years of talk therapy didn't do me any good.
I went somewhere the other day where I got treated very nice by a number of people. It is a sort of community center that I am thinking of joining. I've been feeling kind of "Up" since. I hope going there continues to affect me that way. I'll share if it does.
Any tips anyone else comes up with I would love to hear about. Mainly, I am just made to feel less desolate to hear that others wrestle with this problem, too. People who don't can be very hurtful in their judgemental comments. Yes, we all have to push ourselves. The thing of it is - it's not just me I have to push. It's this thing that wraps around me like an anaconda. It has to be experienced to be believed. Being treated kindly and with warmth seems to help loosen the grip of the snake. I wonder does that resonate with anyone?
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