I like you rainbow!

Just haven't gotten to your post yet. I don't have any great advice for you as I still have those "mom" desires for my T. I figure it will be something I work through in the therapy process. I'm starting to see changes in my overall way of thinking, so I think my "mom" desire will also change.

I actually had a dream last night about the future and what I hope it will look like, both in life and in regards to T. I'll be 35 in June and apparently I finish therapy before my 36th birthday because the dream took place 6 years from the end of therapy and I was 41. I called T's practice one day because she came to my mind and I wanted her to know how my life was going. I made an appointment with her, but told the receptionist not to tell her it was me.

When T came out to get me, she was surprised and delighted to see me. I told her all that had happened since I finished therapy. I told her about taking over the local division of my company as executive director 3 years prior and that we served over 1000 MR/DD/MI/SA individuals in two areas in my state. I told her my marriage had improved greatly and we had 2 children, a boy age 5 and a girl age 3. I showed her pics of them. It was weird to see what my future children might look like!

Remarkably, I noticed my demeanor was different. I spoke comfortably and confidently, stood tall, and practically strode when I walked. However, I was quick to give credit for everything to God and thanked T profusely for helping me become the person I wanted to be. She told me she still thought of me and prayed for me when I came to mind. She told me she always loved me and held me in high regard. She said she was proud of me and was so happy that I was happy. She was teary. She asked if we could meet for dinner sometime, that she would love to hear more details of my life and I accepted. We set up a day and time and I left.

It gave me hope that my future will be better. I needed that.