((RioReport))

Well, you do have options.

There is a middle of the road option, which I didn't see in your post. You could be polite with your father, but don't go out of your way to please him. For instance, you don't have to buy him a card or gift. You don't have to be affectionate either. No hugs are okay. It may feel uncomfortable, but it's a lot more uncomfortable to fake affection and interest.

The second reason of your post is a tough one for me to give advice on. Personally, I have too much experience in living to please the man I'm with. I have had a few times in my life in which I broke it off and stayed away completely (and didn't jump to another man), but that's incredibly rare for me. I can certainly understand the emotions that you're referring to on this issue.

It takes strength, determination, and distractions to successfully get out of the relationship. It can feel very scary and surreal to be without your bf at times, in my experience, but we have to push ourselves to stay away and gain some sense of personal strength. Giving into our impulse to not be alone only damages our self-esteem even more. Especially when the one we're with knows how low we are! That's where your man is, pushing your self-worth even lower. Not good

Be strong. You CAN do it. Throw yourself into your job, school, or sports 100%. Put all of your focus there, and you can refer back to it during weak or lonely times. It will get easier as time passes. Then stay away from sexual relationships until you have a solid sense of who you are, what you like, dislike, etc. Get a solid sense of self-acceptance before any other romance or sex.

Very best wishes to you!!