I'm sorry you feel so bad about things. Its hard to feel that badly.
I disagree with you though...there is always hope. You CAN have a good life.
I have DID but do not "suffer" from it and do not consider myself to have a mental illness. DID is a coping mechanism, and a creative one at that. I don't feel badly for having it, I don't feel like it makes me worse off than anyone else. My life is going well. I have a successful career. I also happen to be extremely dissociative. However we've figured out a lot of ways to cope and get along over the years.