Hi Timgt4, I too am a widow and I think it is wonderful that she has absolute healthy relations with family members. I think Shezbut was correct in addressing the depression maybe with a group of others that are widows/widowers or therapy; medication if needed. Socially I hope she is active and has friends; very necessary in most people's life. I can't stress enough about her having control over things and not feeling like she is loosing because family thinks they know best.

Helping is important but reserve decisions for her to make on her own. After being married a long, long time myself; I changed drastically after my husband died with going from a very active person to letting myself become much more sedentary. Not good for one's health. I too have good loving family dynamics, and they often include me in social events.
I do take an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds, but my motivation is not there and I am addressing it with a T. Taken from a caretaker role to being single is a huge step.
I would advise to be supportive, helpful, but not overbearing on her making decisions for herself. I have worked a lot in nursing home/hospice settings years ago and one of the main things older people miss is giving up personal control and being independent in their life.

I too had a mil I loved and was close to; I do appreciate seeing that you are conscious of her well being. bj